Gas, Grass, or Cash... No One Survives for Free

It's 2:45 in the morning and I really shouldn't even be awake, except that I am.  I'm only really made aware of the fact that I am awake by the fact that my stirring is disrupting the peaceful slumber of the dog; who makes her discomfort known with exasperated sighs and a nudge with a nose or a paw as she tries to weather the storm of my restlessness. It's a lot like sharing a bed with human, except she doesn't snore... loudly.

The truth is, the world fascinates me today.  It does every day, but every so often there are these moments where I am awakened to something a little more profound than usual... like the fact that we live in a country that is in a major recession, that there are about 4 million people relying on unemployment benefits in the U.S., and the middle class is slowly receding into the ocean of poverty; and yet... we are paying upwards of 35 thousand dollars for a full size pickup truck that gets 22 miles per gallon of gasoline that costs almost 5.00 a gallon.  For one, it's unfathomable to me that any everyday Class C vehicle could cost that much.  Secondly, It's mildly disturbing to me.

I'm not sure at what point I became disconnected for the going rate of material possessions but today, as I was juggling a major financial decision, I stumbled upon this brutal reality. The decision is whether or not I should commit to $30,000 in student loans just to finish my bachelors degree and go to work in an industry that I already know the grim odds for stable employment and return of investment on my degree.  You might be thinking, "well you should have chosen a more lucrative and marketable degree," but if you can show me an industry outside of banking, pharmaceuticals, oil, and prisons that IS doing well enough to be stable in this economy, then I might take your word for it.  All of that aside, I'm pretty sure that a degree in Psychology will become significantly marketable in the future... if it isn't already. In fact, the irony of those industries and their relative success isn't lost to me.  As consumers we are led to spend money, inebriate ourselves from the struggle, spend a lot of money on gas (because if you're going to want access to the finer things in life, you're gonna have to drive to get there), or go to prison. At the root of it all we are conditioned to be unhappy or unsatisfied so that we continue consuming to fill the voids in our lives.

I am unhappy with that reality but it doesn't make me unhappy in my life. It has taken me some time to be able to make that distinction but it's true.  I am unhappy at the idea that people... perfectly capable human beings are conditioned to be unhappy and taught how to identify all of it's causes (don't worry, there's a pill for that), and yet never really taught how to identify or pursue happiness.  I recently saw a commercial for a pharmaceutical for some new condition that no one has ever heard of: the pitch was something along the lines of: "Do you frequently randomly burst out laughing?  Do you ever just start crying? If so you may have ... bla bla bla..." Coincidentally, I burst out laughing at it.  I mean they might as well just come right out and say it: "Do you ever feel any emotion at all?  Because if you do, you might be human... It's a rare disorder in which patients experience empathy and desire, willpower, love, excitement and a full gammut of other uniquely human phenomenon."  "But don't worry... we're gonna keep you nice and deluded so your daily life as a consumer won't be disrupted."

The idea of spending 30 or $40,000 dollars on a vehicle is extremely unappealing to me when they aren't even made out of steel anymore.  They are made out of plastics and we just buy into it, agreeing to these insanely unrealistic loan terms and winding up owing more than the car is worth when it comes time to sell or even make repairs to it. I also don't understand why I have to invest $30,000 in a piece of paper that says you know some stuff you read in a book which supposedly makes you qualified for a job.  I am not saying that it's not worth investing in education, I think everyone should invest in education... they should invest time in asking questions of their world and deducing the facts for themselves.  But I hate that my "education" is more contingent upon me sitting down and finding out which degree is the most marketable and will see the greatest return on investment, and less about sitting down and figuring out where I can contribute the most and find the most happiness. Happy people make happy consumers and I have the strangest feeling that with the statistics and reports on quality of life that have been released, consumers aren't buy out of happiness, they are buying out of despair.

What's your dream house?

I wish that we were taught the importance of human integrity and work ethic from a young age.  I wish that children were taught to look into themselves and see that they have value as people, not consumers. Because when we feel that we have value, that we are autonomous, we are more likely to regard others the same way.  I don't need a psych degree to tell me that. I don't need a psych degree to tell you that either - ha ha! I also wish that we would learn to see the value in what we do and not by how much we consume, because if we did... if we spent more time looking at the quality of what we produce, then we might also, by default, doing a better job... maybe.  Perhaps that is wishful thinking.  I try to abide by these things, or to at least give them life but I'm still human, after all. But I do my best... to live within my means.I can't claim to have any answers, but I sure have a lot of questions.