Life...

I was recently reading this article that said that less and less women are opting to have kids.  The article pointed out that for most lower-upper middle class wage earners, the cost of having children exceeds the scope of their resources as more and more insurances are starting to decline coverage for child-birth and related medical services.  Meanwhile, in the lower end of the socioeconomic bracket, access to this coverage is readily available and, for the most part inclusive in their government funded healthcare.

I got to thinking about myself as a woman who has the means (albeit barely) to offset this reproductive trend.  More importantly, I can offset the social and economic strain of financially irresponsible reproductive decisions if I just adopted; taking a perfectly good child out of a broken and corrupted system and giving them the love, support, and opportunity to break a cycle and become a beautiful human and a dignified person. It has always been my belief that if I had children, I would adopt.

But who would I choose to be the father?  HOW, as a woman and maternal figure would I choose the father of my child? I mean, after all, we aren't talking about motorcycles, we are talking about tiny humans... little existential time bombs that if not wired properly, could have a catastrophic outcome once they achieve their true action potential.

What it boils down to is that of which I see in my closest friends; unconditional love, commitment, and  in never knowingly leading another person astray; from their autonomy, from their potential, and from their capacity to choose... for themselves given the proper amount of information.  The Father would be someone who is strong and wise enough to look beyond even his own identity and residual aspirations, failures, and accomplishments to see forth the potential in a tiny person who is yet, un-damaged, un-provoked, and not yet corrupted. The father would be someone who could be free to lead by example and engage in consequence; a person who realizes the significance of his influence and chooses not to taint or corrupt his own influence.

Should we strive for this? Should we strive to provide and/or contribute the best of what we have to offer?  And why is it that it seems that people who share these values are so few and far between? Should we simply revoke ourselves of the responsibility and say, like our parents did, "They will figure it out for themselves."  One of the most awesome things I hear my friend say to her young sons is "You choose."  Those words have a way of resonating to the very core of the human spirit.  We are free, and we are free to choose, and we ought to honor that by choosing in the best interests of that which is beyond us and possibly more capable than us.